ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED?!?!?!?

OKAY GUYS BIG NEWS I’M PRETTY SURE I JUST FOUND OUT A WAY TO CONFIRM THE ILLUMINATI. I’VE BEEN CONTEMPLATING WHETHER OR NOT THE ILLUMINATI IS REAL OR NOT (as you know)  AND I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THEY ARE. I HAVE RECENTLY COME UP WITH AN ALGORITHM AND I’M 110% SURE IT PROVES THAT THE ILLUMINATI IS REAL AND CONTROLS EVERYTHING. IN FACT, THEY PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT I AM TYPING THIS AND THAT I AM ABOUT TO EXPOSE THEM, SO I’M TYPING THIS AS FAST AS I CAN. I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF THEY KIDNAP ME AND KEEP ME AS THEIR PRISONER, SO IF I DON’T POST FOR A WHILE PLEASE COME FIND ME. ALRIGHT WELL HERE IS WHAT I HAVE COME UP WITH TO PROVE THAT THE ILLUMINATI IS ACTUALLY REAL. 

Here it goes: 

*deep breath* Okay so you know how the Illuminati’s official symbol is the triangle? Well guess what according to a random survey that some scientific guy did one of America’s favorite snacks is the Dorito, which is the shape of a triangle. 

Photo Courtesy of NachoArmy

Also, what does Dorito end with? An “O” like Obama. Obama is currently 53 years of age which is only 2 away from 55. Where did the 2 come from? Obama has two eyes, which is YET ANOTHER ILLUMINATI SYMBOL. 

Photo Courtesy of Yahoo

Anyway, 53 plus 2 is 55 and if you add 55 to the amount of times Obama has failed at being president, you get 666. 666 is the official number of satan which yes, the Illuminati worships. Satanists worship owls as well and where do owls live? Trees. Trees produce oxygen and we need oxygen to breathe so if you cut down a tree someone might say, “What is the matter with you?” More like “What is the matter wit jew?” Jewish people practice Judaism. Judaism is commonly practiced in Jerusalem which is located in Israel. Israel’s flag is the Star of David which is two triangles put together, which proves my theory even further. So there you have it, the Illuminati, after many years of debating back and forth, Is-rael.

Wow all of that for a crappy pun….

Hah well I hope you guys got a good laugh from that… I really have no explanation for this because to is literally just a compiled mess of my thoughts. I honestly don’t know how or why I came to these conclusions. XD

Hopefully I can write a blog post about an actual conspiracy soon…. wouldn't that be something?

-Allie